A Year and a Journal Well Spent

It is not yet December 31, although it is the last day of November. Either way, I have a very strong sense of things wrapping themselves up. I can't explain it, but it's there. Maybe it has something to do with two important milestones that have recently come to pass, and one that is very close to realization.

My first milestone has to do with a small women's dinner group of which I am lucky enough to be a part. Every month I join three amazing women for dinner at a random Phoenix restaurant. We've been hosting these monthly meetings since the Fall of 2008, and have managed to sustain our commitment month after (almost) month. The significance of these dinners is subtle to the observer - four women, meeting up on some random Tuesday in some schwanky restaurant, sharing stories about work. However, to the trained observer, we are four kindred spirits bearing our souls and sharing our deepest motivations. We always have appetizers, never skip dessert, drink a few ;-) bottles of wine and usually close down the restaurant. It is truly magical, and we've been clearing our schedules for these monthly dinners for over a year now. I'd like to give a shout out to my DI crew! See you next week girls!

Second, as of November 18 this blog is one year old! My schedule of posts has not been exactly - ummmm - regular. In fact, its irregularity has mirrored my meditation schedule - how appropriate! Nonetheless, as I review previous posts, I feel gratitude at having a venue to share my thoughts. Thank you to all who continue to read and I am sorry when I drag my stories on and on. For those of you who know me well, this should not surprise you!

Finally, one important milestone is still pending - I am nearing the end of a journal. I have had 10 blank pages remaining for about 3 months now :-) I think I've been avoiding writing in my journal so I won't have to finish it. Having a journal full of reflection is apparently my latest security blanket. Yesterday afternoon I picked it up and thumbed through, from beginning to end. I found some great stuff! I know that I need to let go, and start fresh in a journal full of blank pages. However, before I do, I am going to dedicate my next few posts to some of my journal ramblings.

As a prelude to this, I will share some mantras that I have used in my meditation practice, and kept track of in my journal:

1. Honor the words left unspoken - I tend to share A LOT, and this mantra reminds me that not everything has to be verbalized.
2. Find courage in vulnerability - Through a few difficult encounters that left me feeling very vulnerable, I learned that vulnerability is not actually weakness but egoless strength.
3. Create space - The theme for my 33rd year on earth is to shed obligatory activities that clutter up my mind and pursue mindful activities that bring me inspiration and peace of mind.
4. Feel the fear and do it anyway - A huge realization after I began mediating was the number of times that fear holds me back, even from seemingly simple things (like meditating - ha!). This mantra helps me face these realities.

As I find closure in November, 2009, and find the courage to fill those last 10 pages of my journal, I will recommit myself to meditation. I will remember lessons learned over the last year of monthly dinners, irregular blog posts and countless journal entries. And I will strive to hear my intuition, that quiet voice of clarity speaking to me beneath the chatter of my everyday life, guiding me if only I will listen.