I recently visited a "Do It Yourself" pottery store. I chose an unfinished mug, picked out bright yellow and purple paint, and set out to capture inspiration via a morning cup of coffee. I had chosen the signature quote of Judith Hanson Lasater, a yoga teacher whom I respect very much, to decorate my mug: "May I live like the lotus, at home in muddy water."
When I first heard Judith repeat this mantra, I took it very literally. Having travelled to developing countries in Africa and South America, I knew my own discontent with being uncomfortable. Each trip made me realize how spoiled I am as a resident of the U.S. Temperature control is a wonderful thing, and after my first trip to a tropical country, I no longer took it for granted! So as I painted my cup with Judith's words, I meditated on the countries where I would travel in the future, and prayed for peace of mind in their metaphorical muddy waters.
Fast forward to the present. Currently, I am participating in a Shiva - the Jewish tradition in which family members sit for seven days after the passing of a loved one. Several family members are staying under one roof, sleeping, bathing, eating, and passing time in close proximity to one another. Emotions are high and issues long buried are coming to surface. My only true alone time takes place in the bathroom - where I do all of my best thinking anyway :-) As I got ready this morning, I found myself praying to be like the lotus, at home in these muddy waters.
I was surprised that I had not realized sooner the larger application of Judith's phrase. As I wade my way through these emotionally muddy waters, I find myself lacking. I am having trouble drumming up the compassion I routinely call on during my professional activities. When I need it most, it seems my well of compassion has run dry. Instead, I am spewing forth annoyance and anxiety. A situation that should inspire the best version of myself is triggering my "big fat jerk" tendency.
It is for this reason that my prayers to the lotus have changed. I no longer prioritize comfort in foreign lands, but rather courage to offer compassion in my own backyard.
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2 comments:
Thank you! Thank you for continuing with sharing your experiences. I just have to tell you that you ought to write a book - your use of words is insprieing! and, the experience you shared - boy, I know that feeling. I imagined the other day that Xander, Morgan and Adam died and in thinking about how I would feel... well lets just say I was utterly amazed and horrified at how real the dispare that I felt was and it took about two days to rid my body of those feelings. The mind is a powerful tool that we can use for good or bad. I can't believe how often I end up using it against myself. No wonder people believe that a Devil exhist - what a great excuse for self abuse.
I thought of you the other day and your comments on meditating with your dogs. I was at my sisters with a bunch of family and generally having a great time. Unfortunately, I also start to get hard on myself with extended family - "I don't keep a clean house, why can't I be as creative as..., why am I so bossy..., I could never host a party as fun as this..." And then, just as dinner was about to be served Morgan decided she wanted to nurse. I brought Grant's Yoga magazine in with me and read an article on the mantra "Soham" That I am. So, I tried it out and it completely calmed my anxiety, impatience and self critism - WOW. I'll have to try that again.
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