Lessons from a Fallen Hero

I just got home from a funeral. I wanted to capture the array of emotions that went through my mind during the service.

I did not personally know the man who was being laid to rest. I work with his wife in the ER, and had seen him with their two boys visiting her at work a time or two. I knew a little about their life together - he was a police officer, both of them met while in the military. His wife is an amazing women - a talented nurse, a grounded friend, a caring mother. After the service today, I learned that her husband was no less inspiring in his own right, and is truly a Fallen Hero.

His life, as painted by the many speakers at his service today, had multiple inspiring themes. He was an undercover detective killed in the line of duty, fighting narcotic trafficking in the Phoenix area. He was also a former Marine who held his family, his health and his duty to the community in the highest of regards. Let me share what I took away from the service, as an outsider to his life.

- Live joyfully. In spite of his serious and tough roles as a Marine and later a Police Officer, the man laid to rest lived joyfully. He truly loved his wife, his boys and his comrades. Over and over, speakers referred to his humor, his joy and his true affection for all things in his life.

- Hold nothing back. Give everything of yourself to those that you love. The man laid to rest today was obviously affectionate towards all who encountered him - his partner remarked that he would even laugh with those they had just arrested. No one today seemed unsure of the love the Fallen Hero had felt for them. He certainly knew that one can be a man and still show the depths of the love that he feels for others.

- Don't be reckless. This man took his health seriously, working out everyday. He took his mind seriously, as he was an avid reader and a hungry learner. He took his family seriously - the slide show playing before the service showed photo after photo of him volunteering at his sons schools, flying kites with his sons, traveling with his sons, and in general participating in their lives. He also took his relationship with his wife seriously - showing pride in her professional accomplishments, talking about her all the time to his friends and colleagues. His love for the fabric of his life was very apparent. And in spite of chosing the riskiest of all professions, or maybe because of this fact, he was not reckless with the time he had outside of work. He participated fully in his life, and for this reason will be missed that much more.

During the service, I wanted to gather my friends close and tell them how much I love them. Since most of you reading right now are my friends, I want to reinforce the positive impact that you each have on my life. I hope that this is not the first time you are hearing this from me! I also want to remind you to protect yourselves, to take care of your bodies and mind. Don't be reckless with this limited amount of time that we may have together. Live joyfully - surround yourself with positive people who make you feel good, and allow you to love them and share yourself with them. And then pop in on those who don't make it so easy to share or love them, and continue to try. Hold nothing back - always share yourself with others - you are beautiful and others are lucky to have this glimpse! Know that because you have shared yourself with me, I am a stronger, deeper and better women.