My Body, My Classroom

How many of us relate directly and solely to our bodies. When you think about who you are, what do you think? "I am fat" or "I am thin..."; "I am out of shape" or "I am in great shape"; "I am healthy" or "I am sick." I guarantee that whatever definition you have of yourself, it involves something related to your body.

As I was falling asleep last night, I had a totally random thought, "My body is teaching me lessons." Since I am not prone to profound thoughts, this idea woke me right up! As I pondered it, several teachers appeared in my mind. First was Leslie, my mind-body guru. She is always trying to teach me not to identify with my body. She believes that our soul, or our essence, is merely housed within our body and is not defined or confined by it. She believes that our goal is to stay grounded within our true selves, where we will not be rattled by changes in our physical or emotional bodies.

Then appeared my mentor at work, a meditating physician who also stresses the importance of not identifying with things that change. He believes that since our bodies are always changing, growing older and ultimately dying, we should not identify with them because this will bring suffering. As humans, we often latch onto definitions of ourselves that are merely illusions. For example, "I am my body," or "I am my thoughts." Once we feel as though we are solidly defined by these labels, our bodies change or our thoughts change. And then we are left with an unstable idea of ourselves or an utter void. Without a clear definiton of who we are, we struggle. This is my work mentor's point - bad idea!

Both of these ideas remind me of what I wrote last week - my yoga teacher's reference to the "Projects in our Bodies" that teach us lessons. Woven through the theories of these three mentors is the idea that we should obtain a level of detachment from our bodies in order to have a clearer perspective on our lives.

As is typical with profound thoughts, the idea made perfect sense as it surfaced last night. I knew it with my whole consciousness, albeit with a falling asleep type of awareness. As I woke this morning and rushed to start my day, the idea was less tangible and tonight I continue to ponder it.

So my body is teaching me lessons, right? Imagine if the universe sets us up with our own personal classroom - our body. All of the physical, emotional and mental experiences are meant to teach us about our true path and our intimate connection with others. These experiences are not who we are, but rather lessons that take place for the purpose of our observation and interpretation.

If we are not our physical, emotional and mental experiences, then who are we? My gurus would have me believe that I am merely a witness to all of these experiences. I am a stable, unchangeable entity, or a wrinkle in the collective consciousness with a unique interaction with the universe by virtue of how my body, e.g. my classroom, interacts with its environment. The lessons are not unique, but the way that I arrive at them is very unique because it is my own journey.

This is somewhat comforting as I have always been a vicarious learner. I do not learn well by being told what to expect. In order to truly feel the truth about something, I usually have to experience it for myself. For better or for worse, my knowledge comes from a direct interaction with the universe. My lessons are usually hard earned, and yet once understood they are deeply ingrained.

Maybe someday soon I will end my pursuit of happiness as it relates directly to my body. Maybe I will identify more with the observer than the observee. Maybe my sitting sessions will connect me real time with the witness, and allow me to sit back and appreciate the lessons as they play out in front of me, rather than suffering real time and understanding the lessons in hind sight.