I have made my bed and now I can’t sleep! I am in the midst of major transition. I am no stranger to this. Since last fall, I have been on a journey. Initially it was a journey inwards and I worked hard to create an environment that would support this work. I rented a house close to my job, created a yoga room and planted a garden. I filled the house with friends, but also spent a lot of time alone. I did yoga, sat in silence, read, played with my dog, watched movies, cooked, baked, and drank wine. I felt happy and sad, small and expansive, afraid and brave. Many times during this journey, I found peace. Peace in a stable place that I had created for myself.
The lease on my peace was up a few months ago, literally. The owner of my rental house wanted to move back in. She wanted her share of the peace back. And since I am changing states at the end of this year, I decided not to rent another house but to “couch surf” as I have so flippantly named this way of life. Spring boarding from my peaceful place, I felt confident that I could tolerate an unstable existence for a mere four months. I have lots of good friends who will keep me grounded. I have a good job, great hobbies and a free spirit. I can be rootless for a while.
So I put my dog into foster care (e.g. moved him in with some willing and wonderful friends), put my stuff in storage and started to couch hop. First a two month house sitting gig. Now I am living in the spare bedroom of yet another willing and wonderful friend. Logistically, it is working out splendidly.
And yet, I am feeling my grip on peace, stability and groundedness slipping. For whatever reason, I am not tolerating the uprootedness. My yoga practice has slipped, my diet is undisciplined. I am not exercising. And I am whining about not having a home to anyone that will listen. Physically I feel awful. I am a tense, shallow breathing, bloated whiner.
So where to from here? Take my own advice, right. Refer back to my list of sattvic activities. Practice what I preach to my friends and family. Find groundedness in myself, not in the location where I reside.
What keeps me grounded? In a word (okay, phrase…) – heart connection. A heart connection with my body, my friends, my mom, my sister, my work, my own mind. Writing gives me a heart connection to my body and mind, as does sitting in silence, doing yoga, exercising and eating right. Phone calls, emails, lunches, brunches, happy hours and couch time reminds me of the heart connection I have with my family and friends. Walking into a patient room, taking a seat at their bedside, smiling and lovingly addressing their concerns over their own health, plugs me into the heart connecting potential at work. Planting my feet on my yoga mat and my butt on my meditation cushion strengthens my connection to body and mind. Cerebrally I know how to get grounded. The key is in doing it!!!!!
The lease on my peace was up a few months ago, literally. The owner of my rental house wanted to move back in. She wanted her share of the peace back. And since I am changing states at the end of this year, I decided not to rent another house but to “couch surf” as I have so flippantly named this way of life. Spring boarding from my peaceful place, I felt confident that I could tolerate an unstable existence for a mere four months. I have lots of good friends who will keep me grounded. I have a good job, great hobbies and a free spirit. I can be rootless for a while.
So I put my dog into foster care (e.g. moved him in with some willing and wonderful friends), put my stuff in storage and started to couch hop. First a two month house sitting gig. Now I am living in the spare bedroom of yet another willing and wonderful friend. Logistically, it is working out splendidly.
And yet, I am feeling my grip on peace, stability and groundedness slipping. For whatever reason, I am not tolerating the uprootedness. My yoga practice has slipped, my diet is undisciplined. I am not exercising. And I am whining about not having a home to anyone that will listen. Physically I feel awful. I am a tense, shallow breathing, bloated whiner.
So where to from here? Take my own advice, right. Refer back to my list of sattvic activities. Practice what I preach to my friends and family. Find groundedness in myself, not in the location where I reside.
What keeps me grounded? In a word (okay, phrase…) – heart connection. A heart connection with my body, my friends, my mom, my sister, my work, my own mind. Writing gives me a heart connection to my body and mind, as does sitting in silence, doing yoga, exercising and eating right. Phone calls, emails, lunches, brunches, happy hours and couch time reminds me of the heart connection I have with my family and friends. Walking into a patient room, taking a seat at their bedside, smiling and lovingly addressing their concerns over their own health, plugs me into the heart connecting potential at work. Planting my feet on my yoga mat and my butt on my meditation cushion strengthens my connection to body and mind. Cerebrally I know how to get grounded. The key is in doing it!!!!!
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